For three years, I've been sharing my story publicly. Many stories have been told, thoughts have been shared and feelings have been expressed--yet I was never sure of the main theme--the repeating element of this story. Was it love? Was it relationships? Was it family? Or was it spirituality? It wasn't until I reached the end that I learned this was a story of self-discovery--made up of repeating elements.
We could say that my journey of self-discovery began three years ago when I got back from Cambodia. We could go back a little more and say that it began when I committed myself to raising money for a charity as I prepared myself for a bike adventure across Cambodia. Or we can go a little further and say that my life-changing, spiritual journey began when I hit rock bottom--and wanted so badly to get over a two-year breakup from a love that went completely wrong.
Fast forward three years later, I would've never thought that every area of my life would make its way full circle--and come together all at once. When I began writing consistently and regularly three years ago in this very blog, I never thought that I was writing a book--the book that I was struggling everyday to write.
As I revisit the moments and memories of my journey--at times, struggle--through self-discovery, I get to see pieces of my life come together like a divine puzzle. Three years ago, I packed my bags and traveled across the world to escape the bitter taste of heartbreak. Three years later, I'll be packing my bags and following my heart across the Pacific Ocean for love. Three years ago, I was lost looking for purpose. Three years later, I find purpose in everything I do. Three years ago, I didn't know who I was. Three years later, I've learned that self-discovery is a life-long journey--that I will always be a work in progress.
One of my wise mentors, Brenda Ueland, told me in her book If You Want To Write: A book about Art, Independence and Spirit:
"Gradually by writing you will learn more and more to be free, to say all you think; and at the time you will learn never to lie to yourself, never to pretend and attitudinize. But only by writing (or by any other art; or by and use of the "creative power") and by long, patient, serious work will you find your true self."
In three years of exploration, inquiry, contemplation and a wholelotta breakdowns, I was able to see my-true-self through writing. Even though I wasn't sure about what I was writing most of the time, I just kept writing--hoping that someone, anyone would get something out of it. But I never thought that the person who would get the most out of my writing would actually be me.
I told you that one day I would find exactly what it is that I am meant to do--my purpose--and that I would meet the man of my dreams. I guess it doesn't matter how you pray because if you put it out there--via thoughts, spoken words or blog posts--it's out there to be manifested. And the Universe has manifested my prayers.
Yes, this is my last blog post in this blog. But I promise you, this will not be the last time you hear from me. Just as I put my heart and soul into this blog, it's time to give the same love to my first book. It's also time to give as much commitment that I gave to being single and to my self to Love--because he is just as important.
I'm closing this chapter of my life--only because at the end of every ending, there is a beginning waiting patiently to begin. And it would be an honor for you to join me in my next adventure. So it's not goodbye! We'll connect soon. I promise.
Love & Light.
